Hidden Forms of Abuse

Oct 14

4 min read

Emotional and Financial Control

Written by Sharon Sung

Edited by Dr. ‘Demi Fauziyyah Adebo-Adelaja

Recognizing the Unseen: Emotional and Financial Abuse

October is Domestic Violence Awareness Month, a time to raise awareness, support survivors, and strengthen our understanding of the many ways abuse can appear in relationships.

When we hear the words domestic violence, physical harm may be the first thing that comes to mind. But abuse does not always leave a visible injury. Emotional and financial abuse can be just as harmful, and because they often develop gradually, they can be difficult to recognize (Lucchetti, 2025).

At the center of many abusive behaviors is a pattern of power and control. Learning to recognize these less visible forms of abuse can help us better support ourselves, our loved ones, and members of our communities (National Domestic Violence Hotline, n.d.).

When Emotional Harm Becomes Abuse

Every relationship has disagreements, difficult conversations, and moments when feelings get hurt. Emotional abuse is different. It involves repeated behaviors that are used to intimidate, manipulate, isolate, humiliate, or control another person (WomensLaw.org, 2025).

This can look like constant criticism or name-calling, threats, humiliation, extreme jealousy, monitoring someone's activities, or controlling who they are allowed to spend time with. An abusive partner may isolate someone from family and friends, dismiss their feelings, or repeatedly make them question their own judgment and experiences (Military OneSource, n.d.; WomensLaw.org, 2025).

Over time, these behaviors can affect the way a person sees themselves. Someone experiencing emotional abuse may begin to feel anxious, isolated, fearful, or as though they are constantly walking on eggshells. Their confidence and self-esteem may decline, and they may begin to doubt their own feelings or decisions (WomensLaw.org, 2025).

The absence of physical injuries does not make emotional abuse less serious. Emotional safety is an important part of our overall health and well-being.

When Money Becomes a Means of Control

Financial abuse is another form of abuse that can be difficult to recognize. It occurs when money or financial resources are used to control another person's choices and independence (National Network to End Domestic Violence, n.d.).

A partner may control all of the household finances, closely monitor purchases, withhold money, take someone's income, or prevent them from accessing bank accounts. Financial abuse can also involve interfering with someone's job, preventing them from working, hiding financial information, creating debt in their name, or damaging their credit (National Domestic Violence Hotline, n.d.; Wallen & Heaton, 2024).

These actions can have lasting consequences. Without access to their own money or financial resources, someone may struggle to pay for necessities, secure transportation or housing, or support their children. Financial dependence can also make leaving an abusive relationship more difficult, even when someone recognizes that the relationship is unsafe (National Network to End Domestic Violence, n.d.).

The Connection Between Emotional and Financial Abuse

Emotional and financial abuse often overlap.

A partner may prevent someone from working while repeatedly telling them that they are incapable of supporting themselves. Someone may control the household finances while humiliating their partner whenever they ask for money. Threats or emotional manipulation may also be used to discourage someone from seeking financial independence.

Over time, these patterns can affect both a person's self-confidence and their ability to make independent choices.

Recognizing abuse means looking beyond individual disagreements and paying attention to repeated patterns of control. Healthy relationships should be grounded in mutual respect, trust, dignity, and the freedom for each person to maintain a sense of self.

Our Responsibility as a Community

Supporting survivors of domestic violence is not only an individual responsibility; it is a community one.

At The Aafiyah Project, our work is rooted in service, equity, respect, integrity, collaboration, and empowerment. Supporting whole-person wellness means helping create communities where people feel seen, heard, respected, and supported.

If someone shares that they may be experiencing abuse, listen without judgment. Avoid blaming them or questioning why they have not left. Leaving an abusive relationship can be complicated by concerns about safety, finances, housing, children, family, and many other circumstances.

Sometimes support begins simply by believing someone, listening to them, and helping them understand that they do not have to navigate their situation alone.

You Are Not Alone

Abuse does not have to become physical before it deserves attention.

If something in your relationship makes you feel controlled, isolated, afraid, or unable to make your own decisions, support is available. Reaching out to a trusted friend, family member, community leader, counselor, advocate, or domestic violence organization can be an important first step.

If you or someone you know is experiencing domestic violence, the National Domestic Violence Hotline provides confidential support 24 hours a day, seven days a week.

Call: 1-800-799-SAFE (7233)

Text: START to 88788

Online: Chat with an advocate through the National Domestic Violence Hotline website at thehotline.org.

If there is immediate danger, call 911.

Taking the Next Step

Awareness is most meaningful when it helps us recognize what may otherwise remain unseen. This Domestic Violence Awareness Month, take time to learn the signs of abuse, check in with the people you care about, and help create spaces where survivors can speak without fear of judgment.

At The Aafiyah Project, we believe wellness includes more than physical health. Emotional well-being, safety, dignity, connection, and empowerment are all part of building healthier individuals, families, and communities.

Everyone deserves relationships where they feel safe, respected, and valued.

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